i reali hate projects!! so many presentations! n im damn sucks in presenting!! tml i still haf presentation!! kill meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


tat feelin is killin mi.. haf been lyin on bed for quite some time n kp tinkin abt it n i jus cant fall aslp!!

todae match was terrible. don wish to sae anymore abt it =x
jerrydine was damn mean! pple lose till lidat still laff..
aniwae pon my econs lecture todae n went to mit liz go eat den wait for ml den mit de rest for de competition. next match will be on sat, vs tnet at 8.30pm at SBC(aljunied). hope we can win~~~

hmm saw joyce todae. tink she change alot by her appearance all tat. den stupid wanhui, nadia, huijun, sharon n ame kp askin mi alot of stupid qns den kp tellin mi de reasons y all tat.. damn funny sia den dey ask mi alot of tings jiu all act lk holdin a mic for mi to tok lidat. haha.

hmmm.. it's time to move on

todae woke up on time =) althou damn slpy la. den in de train gg skool, tat dumb jerrydine late for her lesson again den she jiu wait for mi at dover ctrl den i walk her to her class. gt free pocky todae! so sweet =)
todae durin econs lecture cos everybody damn sian liao la den kaingee dey all jiu sae thurs mux wear top formal for presentation. den i was jux kiddin tat i will wear heels den dey reali believe -.- suddenly all of them was lk so excited abt discussin the heels thingy. haha.
after skool jiu pei liz go hke dere cut hair den after go trg. todae trg was quite relac cos tml start de comp liao.. sian ar tml vs combine skool~ i jus realise tat ah van is still in combine skool team!! arghhh~ hope we don lose too much..

i guess im falling-

im sooooo tired!

due to de taka 20% sales... taka is fulllllll of pple pls!! stupid sharon nv go work todae den i haf to work all by my own! n it's damn busy la! n de sales is damn gd la! haha. almost all de doll hse r sold sia.. luckily in de noon zhiyong send mre doll hse to taka if nt we gt nth left to sell oready. haha reali damn busy till i no time to eat snake lor.. tat time sat work, durin break we eat mac den after trg still eat mac. todae durin break we go eat yoshinoya den after work i pei my family go eat ajisen -.- lk everydae oso eat de same ting lidat. haha.
todae after work mit my mum n bro go walk walk.. den i buy N6280. i duno hw to use tat fone la.... damn complicated ar.. den i trade in my fone. sad ar cos all my msges r GONE!!! no mre fwd msges, no mre msges frm u. =(
tml after skool still gt trg -.- torture man.. aniwae our first match is on tis comin tues 30/6. against combined skool at 7.15pm at braddell height cc. hais combined skool~~ sure kena trash again. god bless us man!

saw ur nick yest..i noe ur confused tat u duno whether shld u let go or cont waitin for mi rite.. let go ba. move on.. it will onli make ur life mre miserable by waitin for mi. even if one dae we were to be together again, do u tink de feelin will still be de same?? it seems tat ur v happy wif ur current life n im glad. no matter wat, if u nid someone, i will still be here for u. althou i don even noe wats my mind is tinkin abt n i duno hw to follow my heart cos it's confusin mi, but i tink u shldnt wait for mi anymore. im sorry.


[all along im jus lyin to myself. again n again.. pls don let de history repeat!]

nowadaes reali fall aslp wen de lecturer or tutor starts tokin sia. completely duno wat r dey teachin abt. went to watch Over the hedge after skool todae wif JERRYdine. tat show is reali funny man.. esp tat Hammy is damn cute ar!
cant go for canoe polo trg tml cos promise sharon tml i gt work.. so no choice.. sculli tml everybodi will be learnin hand row oready wen im still stuck in paddle row!
damn tired nw n don haf mood to type oready. byeeeeeeee.

aniwae 'pi' is lost again -.- reali duno y she lk to run awae so much.. maybe it's all fate. haa.

ifeelsostupid

soooo tired. jus nw gt bball trg. althou din train till v tough buden laff till v tired. cos sharon duno y todae damn damn funny la. wif her stupid actions all tat. den if we nv catch de ball properly mux do pushup ma den i kp doin lor den stupid sharon purposely wan watched mi do den at dere mock at mi lidat. duno wat happen to her todae.. tink nv eat medi ba. haha den mi, wanhui n huijun kp laffin at her la. after trg went to eat wif ml, ahlu n ame.. den on de wae walkin....suddenly saw a black cat n i suddenly shout den xia dao ml den oso becos she saw tat black cat oso. end up she smack my arm damn HARD! den she sae is becos i shout den xia dao her den oso becos of de cat. -.- damn innocent can mi.. still kena smack =(

todae in de mornin go skool oready haf tat strong 'hwee-ling' of shittin liao den after tat luck sin go out smoke den come bac sit beside mi den i smell of de cigarette smell make mi feel lk shittin mre! end up bth liao den faster go shit. haha. don wana wear de pink socks oready cos todae wear to skool den alot of pple kp sayin -.- ohya im gonna fail my first CA! which is econs! damn sian la cos i don even noe wat de qns is tokin abt den i jux crap onli den while doin kp sneezin.. damn xin ku ar..
hmm at first tml after skool gt play bball for de canoe gals de buden dey sae ball no air den jiu nv play oready =(

finally joyce found bac our 'pi'~ i tot 'pi' sure die one sia buden luckily she's strong! haha


[will u be dere to watch mi play?]

todae after skool gt canoe trg. i reali hate inclined pull up la!! totally sucks to de core man.. tink i do a few hundreds of pushup again todae -.- my hand reali canot tahan oready. todae trg was nt fun for mi. after trg went to je for FISHBALL noodle wif liz n ml but end up dey eat other food n onli mi eat FISHBALL noodle.. tink i don get to slp unless i complete my POA hmwk lata =(
tml after skool will be meetin shuyi, xiaohui n rosie to go bac sec skool tk olevel cert =) so long nv c them oready.. don feel lk gg skool tml. damn bored ar!

damn regret of sayin doze tings to u. can i tk bac my words?? treat it as i nv sae it to u at all. felt so dumb la. sucks!!
liz told mi smth jus nw which makes mi tink twice.. i tink im jus bein too naive to tink tat wae.
IM JUS MAKIN A FOOL OUT OF MYSELF!!

jus nw haf bball trg. luckily todae nv train much so nt v tirin.. althou todae lesson onli starts at 1pm buden duno y damn slpy in skool lo.. after skool jiu mit liz den go eat n wait for manlin. after tat mit lacilia n went for trg!
after trg we went to eat mac den on de wae walkin to mrt station, mi, ahlu, nadia, huijin, lacilia, peilin n jessie were damn scare n nervous lidat la cos at 1st mi n lacilia saw a auntie holdin a dog at de playground de swing. den after tat we turn bac n c, de auntie oready walk till v far liao!! n de swing is still swingin!! after tat we felt damn eerie oready. haha den de path was lk so dark lidat la.. suddenly gt a bat fly pass den mi n ahlu hug each other sia. haha bei xia dao ma.. den dey sae we 2 gay -.- damn scary jiu dui le.. haha. after tat we gg tk train tat time tk alot of stupid fotos.. damn funny.
arghhh tml still haf canoe trg. tml 1st lesson haf to hand in STATS hmwk but i haben do anything! im dead man..

[im glad tat u seems to be bac to normal recently. u haf ur own life to live. althou im happy to c tat, but duno y i will still feel sad. maybe tats becos i noe tat u don nid mi anymore. hope we r still frenz =) ]

duno y gdine become so moody jus nw.. don seems lk de normal her. weird.

maybe all along im wronged. i alwaz tot tis wont happen n i don wish tis to happen.. i duno wat im tinkin abt. don wish tings to be awkward. im damn confuse nw!!!!!!!!!

im soooo tired nw but cant reali slp so decide to write my post 1st! haha. actualli shld be slpin jus nw due to a dumb ass =)
aniwae haf canoe polo trg at 8.30am till 12pm. den 2pm to 5pm is canoe trg at kallang. den 7.30pm to 10pm was bball trg! my whole sat is all trgs can!! tink add up all de pushup durin de trgs was lk oready 600 la!! but it seems lk dere's isnt any muscle growing =(
but quite satisfied todae cos i did tat row thingy successfully for 3times! but aniwae im jus lucky. manlin n liz was damn power cos dey r oready halfwae doin de hand row!! den don tink i can attend next sat canoe trg. tats means im gonna miss out de chance of learnin! which means mre pple will be catchin up!!
aniwae im sunburnt!! but actualli i lk bein sunburnt at de face cos is lk v tann n red lidat. look soooo nice~ but wen de skin start to lk peeling off, it sucks can. den wen go for bball trg, dey was lk sayin i look lk indian n monkey -.- aniwae tink mi, manlin n liz was too stress out by canoe trg oready. cos wen we r doin pushup durin de bball trg, we was lk shoutin 'first ten ready!' haha den lk wat sia..
after trg we r celebratin lacilia bdae.. liz mux be happy todae cos is her lacilia bdae! after tat we went to eat n went hm!
while on de wae walkin to de coffeeshop, ahlu ask mi 'do u still lk her?' i paused. i duno wat to ans. tink u guys mus be tinkin tat im changed rite n sure disappointed abt mi rite. i duno whether will i regret or wat. cos i don even noe wat im tinkin of.. i jus don wish to tink so much cos i don wana fall bac. jus lk wat gdine said 'relationships r all abt hurtin' it's true..

i duno y yest i can ans u so quickly wen u ask whether i tink of patchin up wif her.. im jus makin myself confuse! but i don wish to tink~~

y u guys lk to tink things till so complicated??? we r nth!! does it means tat frenz cant tok on fone or go out together?? does it means tat i can onli haf frenz hu r guys or bungs?? u all was jus makin tings awkward.


[seriously i tink u've changed. ur no longer de one i noe last time. maybe im de one hu cause u to be lidat. but i reali don mean it. ur jus makin wild guesses wen it's nt true!]

jus nw abt 11plus reach hm. damn tired n slpy. tml still haf to wake up earli for canoe trg. =( i must get tat pedal row thingy right! if nt even mi oso look dwn on myself sia.. but sae is easier than done =( den after canoe trg still haf to rush dwn for bball trg. damn tired one la...
jus nw after skool went to dhoby ghaut to find gdine den after go airport. end up lookin at planes wen de planes isnt flyin~ after tat went to studi n she eat her so-call-nice-mashpotato. haha den she go watch movie wif her family n i went hm. she's so dumb!
tink im gg slp soon oready if nt tml sure cant wake up.


u r jus tinkin too much pls. i don mean tat alrite. tings r nt tat complicated as wat u tink. don do tings tat hurt urself can...

im so damn slpy nw.. havin ITAB lesson till 4pm =(
slp at 2am yest n wake up at 6.45am -.- damn damn damn tired ar.. lesson at 9am todae buden go skool wif geraldine at 8am den she go lesson den i go mac do my POA ting.. den durin POA lecture reali tired till bth liao den kp dozing off. den karen sae mi is monkey hibernating -_-
my hair reali look lk golden monkey?!! liz oso sae i golden monkey lo. but till nw onli liz sae ugly lei.. geraldine, manlin, fangqi n my classmates sae look nice =) haha.
todae for CD haf to act out a skit. damn funny lor johnathon.. he sing durin de skit den i was lk laff till wan tear liao.. haha.
argghhhh i still haf 3mre hrs to go!! after tis gg airport studi wif geraldine. hardworkin rite...but tink most prob i will fall aslp. haha.
haf to start lesson oready...........................

wen i nid someone to tok to, where r u?
wen im injured, where r u?
wen im dwn, where r u?
wen i nid someone to cheer mi up, where r u?
wen im feelin stress, where r u?
[i noe im nt dere for u either]

but dere's HER to be dere for mi. wen im dwn, she's de first one to cheer mi up. wen i sprain my thumb, she's de first one to ask whether am i ok. wen im stress, she'll tok till i wont stress anymore. wen i feel tat life is meaningless, she will prove mi wrong. but wen i sae no smackin of hair, she will still smack. tats wat FRENS r for.

head is so heavy nw. don feel lk doin my econs hmwk oready. tml still haf marketing presentation! sucks!

todae is nt my dae.. feel so fed up! earli in de mornin argue wif joyce cos of some stupid stuffs. den jux argue wif liz abt canoe thingy. wth y cant dere's someone hu understand mi? as in wat i mean.. forever lk tokin to a bull lidat. alwaz cant tok properly.. tink oso im too pek chek oready den seriously no mood to tok at all cos no matter wat i sae, dere's no use.
im vvv tired. don feel lk gg any trgs at all. damn demoralise ar. wat for troubled so much abt trgs.. mite as well don play for anything. seriously im damn fed up of gettin scolded for nth. wen i don tink i did anything wrong! jus tat wat i do is alwaz wrong to u guys. mite as well don play la. i will feel beta than nw! FUCK!

went to cut hair jus nw n i wan to dye my hair brown but de person duno add wat ash green n nw i look lk a golden monkey! den damn smelly la cos of de dye thingy de smell. sucks!

i finally wake up on time todae! cos lesson is at 10am. den wen my alarm rang, i jux press it n go bac slp but suddenly alot of incomin msges den wake mi up =(
while on de wae walkin to mrt station, stupid geraldine den call mi wake mi up -.- it's oready 9am liao lo. if i rely on her, i sure late. haha. BUT im still LATE for lesson! actualli wont late de lo is becos of GERALDINE pls.. oready in de train at commonwealth dere liao den alight n tk de opposite train to go bac to outram. duno becos of hu lor.... hai mi wan shit canot shit. haha! end up i reach my lesson 15mins late =x
teacher left earli so nw v free can go eat liao.. haha.
sian ar lata gt match...... hope we wont get any scoldin todae =[

ONCE AGAIN, i overslept todae AGAIN.
watch vcd till 6am lidat den fall aslp while im suppose to wake up at 7am! end up slp till 11plus den faster rush to skool for lecture at 1pm =p my attendance jus sux to de core la.. haha.
den nearly starve to death sia den damn borin n slpy in skool.. after skool jiu go hm liao. cos liz donwan pei mi go cut hair =( i wan cut hair la!! v long liao sia canot style liao..
sian tml havin frenly against chong ghee -.- reali don feel lk playin... sure get mre bruises tml de.. tat time vs lengkee den gt alot of blueblack n scratches on my hand. den jonathon sae de blueblack is love bite -.-
sigh! tml after skool haf to rush to amk for de match oready. cant go canot trg =[

my com is finally fixed! gonna rush to find research for my presentation =<

Thursday
aniwae tat dae thurs go sbc draw lots for our youth cup den wen outside de sbc, dey sae gt my foto den i tot jux doze small small de but end up is a BIG one on de banner! duno hu tk it wen i was playin for de converse 3on3. n my face look super kuku la. haha. aniwae tis yr in our grpin gt 'combined skool, t-net, qian xi n quan fong' SUPER SWAY la. cos 3 of de teams r v strong =( is oready my last yr playin.. cant afford to lose.. aniwae after de draw lots thingy, we went to eat den dey went je to play pool but i go pass tings to joyce 1st den go find them.
duno y felt extremely dwn tat nite. den mi, ahlu, ml, lacilia, liz went to drink. but onli ahlu, lacilia n mi drink. kelian de liz haf to tk care of her drunken lacilia. after tat cos v late oready jiu go ahlu hse stay. liz n lacilia slp at de floor(gt mattress la) den i slp wif ahlu on bed(queen size one) haha. den ahlu damn funny cos she kp askin alot of stupid qns den kp disturbin mi hai mi cant slp. but she's gd la. cos she sae she in de middle of de nite still help mi cover blanket. aniwae she is de one hu snatch awae de blanket 1st :x

Saturday
aniwae yest in de mornin gt canoe trg. im half dead oready cos fri nite watch vcd till 4plus den slp den earli in de mornin 7 jiu mux wake up. so onli slp for 2hrs plus?? after de canoe trg i felt damn stress la. cos v dulan tat cant even do de pedal row thingy whereas liz oready can do de hand row! den she kp sayin i weakling cos i sae i donwan join canoe polo oready. wen we practising to throw de ball thingy, cos de ball slippery den jus slip of my hand den stupid geraldine sae i butter finger. after tat wen she was playin canoe polo, she shoot AIRBALL. i wonder hu is de butter finger =) after de trg by right still haf to go kallang for canoe trg buden cos evenin we gt friendly match against lengkee so we nv go for kallang trg.
aniwae we lost to lengkee. i guess i played badly. was quite unhappy abt our performance cos wif tis standard, hw r we gg to fight against de strong teams in youth cup? argh my last yr oready lei.. guess we haf to work vvv hard in de next 3wks thou is too late to train nw.
canoe one i cant make it. bball one oso play till lidat. studies i cant cope wif. waaaahhhh i duno wat to do la!! lk so stress la~!! den geraldine call mi after my match, den listen to her nagging makes mi feel beta althou she kp sayin im a weakling too cos i tink of givin up canoe polo. but i guess i cant reali go for canoe trgs oready cos clash wif outside bball team trgs. HOW?????

Sunday
din went to work todae cos my knee hurts wen i woke up. yest durin de match my leg was oready farkin pain. cos todae nv work den next next sat i haf to work. means i cant go for canoe trg on next next sat oready. hais oready cant do de pedal row thingy oready den nw miss trg sure cant catch up one. kill mi~~~~ i duno wat to do!!
aniwae is mothers dae todae! tink lata will be cookin dinner by chef-to-be. tats me! =) haaaaas


u don haf to leave so fast after our match. althou i din reali dare to look at u. but thanx for bein dere. at least i noe dere's someone watchin mi. maybe u r nt watchin mi la =(

listen to so many advices frm frenz n my sis.. but still im v confuse. i duno wat to do.. i feel bad i feel guilty. but then... guess everyone will be blaming mi cos im de one hu decide to break up. nobody will understand. maybe all along im jus bein the bad guy.

jus nw go frenster. c ur profile n saw de word 'single'. i cant sae aniting much oso.. den went to change mine too. reali don wish to press to single n save it. but still...i haf to do it. wo zhen de bu she de..

tis is de one i wan u to listen. 'mo sheng ren' by Soler

?了最后一支香?
拿?准?好的行李
好想打????你??有勇气
多么期待你?再打?叫我?走你的最?
不必悲哀????
所有一切都一?
??得我?的承?
?想起你???我
自暴自?也?用
?道我真的想不通
?然?口越?越痛
感?呼吸越?越重
不?再停?一直做?
哭也?用忍??痛yeah
离?你我真的痛你不知道你不知道
哭?看?你离?我你看不到你听不到
?什么?什么要离去
?什么?什么再相遇
已?成陌生人
看?我??天的那照片
?天我?的?念
那灰?的天又再回到?前
躺在我的怀里看夕?你?希望永?都一?
不管怎?不停回想
?局?后?能怎?

im sorry

im sorry.
i noe even if i sae a million times, dere's no use.
but still im reali sorry.
i duno y i will make tis decision. i don feel gd either. i cant kp tinkin abt it.
but im sorry to sae tat we jus end here.
o1/10/o5 - o6/o5/o6