is tis retribution?

i noe no matter hw disappointed n sad i get, i still believe wat u said. i hope wat u said nw r nt lies, althou it's de fact tat u've fall for her, i cant do anything. jus blame myself for all these happening. im de one to blame for givin u up in de first place n nt makin any effort between us. maybe ur right. all these problems lies wif mi.
i reali hope wat i heard r nt true. but it's de fact.
i reali miss her. i mean de one in my heart. i've been feelin sooo bad. de feelin is jus lk she've reali died n i can no longer find her bac. she's still in my heart. it reali feels so hurt cos she can nv be bac. i've to kp tellin myself ur nt her, definitely nt her. she wont sae or do such things to mi. onli lyin to myself can make mi feel beta. even if u appear right infront of mi, ur nt her. she live in my heart, nt u.
do u noe hw izit feel lk to cry myself to slp? n de moment i woke up started cryin again wen i saw stitch? i hate to cry cos i alwaz said cryin is useless. but i noe it's hard to ctrl.
make tat all a dream. a sweet dream between mi n her. nw im awake n noe all doze r jus dreams, i can onli love u frm behind.

it all started wif "XIAOPING COME DO UR PULL UP!"
started wif a msg sayin my orange shirt is too bright cos i don wana get hit by cars.
started wif our first "date" at de airport, i complain tat dere's no plane flyin, u ate ur so-call-nice-mashed-potato, our first conversation on paper while we're jus sittin beside each other, u drew 'silly baichi' on my econs notes.
went to watch over the hedge, ur crazy over hammy n tat car wif de tooth tat u said looks lk mi, i accidentally hit u wif de pastamania menu n u looks lk u gonna kill mi for tat, walk till cathay for ben & jerry, im ben n ur jerry.
before u left for hk, both of us r so upset, went sk to mit u for dinner n i cant order my kiddy set A all becos u didnt read de menu carefully n make mi paiseh, nt forgettin out 5mins madness, here comes hammy.
wen ur bac frm hk, here comes stitch, u haf nth beta to do n came up wif a idea to walk frm taka to ps n ps bac to taka, went pepper lunch, u anyhow order a spicy chic for mi n it tasted weird, u wrote smth on de feedback form n i get so upset wen i accidentally tore it wen my classmate snatch frm mi, u said ur afraid of losin mi, i told u tat i will nt leave.
airport again, supposingly to be studyin but end up lookin at planes which don fly again, u've been high over seein so many of ur bfs at dere, u walk too fast into de skytrain n left mi outside, i sae ard mi r all ur bfs, u ask mi nt to worry cos ur mine.
esplanade library, u gave mi a rose, suppose to studi but end up havin our paper conversation again, u a smiley on my hand n i draw bac a big mole for u, went to eat n u shell de prawns for mi wen i said i don wana eat, england-portugal match, u owe mi 10fishballs.
night safari tour, was dark n hot, cant c de animals but i get high over otter, u fan mi usin de useless map, finally u became clever n fold it into a fan-shaped n fan, althou nt much diff, u wanted to eat ur so-called-nice-prata-at-jlnkayu, we've our goreng-hangman-bingo sessions, i said u cant win mi in bingo n u still play cheat, u started givin stupid words lk macdonald for hangman n i started usin KFC, my stomach ache end our dae.

we noe we're frm diff world, wat we lk n don lk r totally diff. but she said things can be done, u said we're nt meant for each other. she said im de one hu made her heart skipped, made her gif up de whole world for, u said love canot be force n it's beta if we remain as frens. all de above memories r between mi n her, nt u. i noe she's leavin mi, i cant do anything but to love her inside my heart. de gdine i love is her, nt u..