.

i seriously gave up on my life nw.
it's only first wk of skool n im so fuckin sick of it.
im ready to gif up everything.
i jus hope tat after skool de most go for tuition n i can head hm str,
and nth else!
im physically n mentally drained out.

look at my schedule for these few wks.
i hardly can haf one day spend wif my family.
needless to sae even a lunch or dinner tog wif them.
sometimes i do haf de chance to but haf to forgo cos of frens.
every mornin my mum will ask mi de same ting "nt comin hm for dinner again?"
n i feel so bad to reply a "ya".
haf to leave hm earli for skool,
reach hm late.
i hardly get to c or tok to them.

wat worse is my day wif skool n tuition n trg.
earli in de mornin i've to force myself off my bed without enuff slp,
squeeze into train wif crowds n stand all de wae to dover,
after skool drag myself into de train n stand all de way till tampines or bedok,
haf to tk a bus frm interchange to my tuition place,
after tuition tk bus bac to interchange,
tk train all de way bac to dover for trg wen i don haf much energy left,
after trg tk bus to clementi for dinner,
finally took train bac hm.
hw many times mus i travel in a dae?
im so fuckin sick of my travellin time.

im so sick of doin tings wen i don wan to do it!
yet pple alwaz blame mi for stuffs tat mi myself didnt wan to do it!
lk as if i can choose?
lk i've a choice?
ya i do haf a choice to stop playin ball.
i alwaz haf to gif up on stuffs becos of bball.
frm sec skool till nw.
im so sick of it.
yet some pple jus don understand.
im so tired to explain anymore.

i've a choice nw.
stop playin ball.
gif up on everything.
de most haf skool n tuition.
tats it.
i can head hm after tat.
im sure my life wld be happier.
havin stayin at hm for whole dae wld be best for mi.
hw i miss doze times.

but can anyone put urself in my shoe?
do u all noe hw tired my life is nw?
to kp doin stuffs tat i don lk n forcin myself.

24/7 is nv enuff for me!
i've to squeeze so many stuffs tog n im draining myself out.
while im so mentally n physically tired,
i still haf to fake a smile.

im out.
i don wan such life anymore.
i don care hu will i lose.
friendship, love or whatever shit.

all i wan is freedom to choose wat i wan to do,
n nt listenin n doin wat others wan mi to do.
i rather stay at hm wif my family.


all i wan in my life is simple.
i jus wan mre time wif my family.
if dere's time,
it will be for frens n love.
but nw,
i don even haf time for family.
needless to sae for others.

am i wrong?
is wanting to spend mre time wif family a mistake?
mus i alwaz listen to others?

hw long mre mus i live wif such life.
my life is a mess.