.

woke up this morning,
dunno why,
just don feel right at all.
mood totally BAD.
reached workplace.
even jody asked why my face so black.

it's not my day at all.
keep making mistakes.
and i tripped 3 times!
luckily didnt fall or drop the plates.
somemore i'm holding plates of HOT food when i tripped.
heart nearly dropped out.
totally NO MOOD.

think everyone at work today is having moodswing today.
no joke,
no laughter.


having driving lesson tomorrow.
i know i will so screw it up.
release handbrake first or switch gear first?
sigh.
last time wanted to get license so can drive my family and her around.
now?


even if i've all the girls around me,
i'm still not happy.

now i really know,
i really dunno what i want,
i dunno who am i.
i hate myself for being like this.

a moment of folly.
like real.

make a choice,
live with it.

want to play,
pay the price,
no right to regret.


17th birthday, with her.
18th birthday, not together.
19th birthday, with her.
20th birthday, not together again.

someone that i'm once so serious about.
the only one that i brought home.
the only one whom i always take for granted.
the one that i didnt cherish well enough.


the birthday wish i previously hoped for,
it's just a dream.
thanks for waking me up.
if you can,
why cant i.

my life is so in a mess now.
i hate all these complications in my mind.
i'd put myself in your shoes previously.


a leopard will never change its spots



no more silly <3, it's over.