.

suppose to watch EURO finals with jez n eileen outside.
but kinda tired ah.
so ya,
watching at home instead.
still got another 1.5 hours to the match.
i'm kinda sleepy alr =/
maybe going down to get some junk food.



school starting as usual tml already.
BORING.

changed hammies beddings today.
ah dai's 3 babies are so cute!
but dunno why 1 of it kinda malnutrition.
much smaller than the other 2.
then always kenna bully =/
but each of them look differently and it's so cute :)

all i can do is,
pretend.
pretend that i dont care.
pretend that i dont bother.
pretend that everything is none of my business.

when can my life turn better?
i know i'd let you down.

.

yest slept at 7am =/
slept for 5hrs and went school for ASCM test.
didnt really study.
just browse thru and heck.
cause it's MCQ.
so just tikam tikam

after test went vivo with hazel yujin kaiwei kaingee and her friend.
been quite long since i last went out with them.
haha.


spain won 3-0.
neh neh.
i thought they will draw :(


i'm like AWAKE now when i only have 5hours of sleep yesterday.
dunno what's wrong with me recently.
sleeping is the most important thing in my list.
but now?
i can hardly fall asleep.
earliest is 3 or 4am?
now is like 6 or 7am?
i'm going crazy.
my life is like upside down left right.
i'm like only operating in the night.





if i can choose not to think,
i won't.
but the problem is,
i can't.
i dunno what am i thinking.
i'm just tired.
real tired.
i need some good rest.
without any thinking.
i dunno what can i do now.
whats wrong with my life now.
i'm so tired with my life now.



maybe letting you go will be another regret in my life.
but my life is always full of regrets.
know it's hard to find someone else like you.
maybe your the best one for me.
maybe i didnt know how to appreciate.
communcation breakdown.
you dont trust me.
what you want is not what i want.
what i want is not what you want.
you said that you try to understand me,
maybe i dont understand you,
or rather i didnt put myself in your shoe.
we're drifting apart.

feel so helpless.
i've already done what i could do.
but all i get was your cold shoulder.
a broken friendship can never be mend.

.

ASCM test at 1.30pm TODAY,
but i'm still sitting infront of this com now.
4 topics to study,
but i only BROWSE through 2 topics.

was watching euro on tv just now.
but halfway got hanged.
conclusion:
free 的果然没好货
haha.

germany 3 turkey 2 now.
damn nervous.
only can watch online live commentary now.


tml most probably after paper going vivo with hazel yujin kaiwei.
maybe after that meeting family?
or maybe soccer at night?




sorry.
i'd let you down.

.

slept the whole day today.
spent time sleeping and watching tv.
didnt even take out my ASCM notes.

distraction.

i wanna watch germany v turkey =/

maybe to me,
it's just a white lie.
but to you,
it's not.

.

maybe i will need more time.

hate myself,
from doing what i don't wish to.
i thought i could forget about it.
but it seems like impossible.

maybe,
all i need is time.
time will get me by.

i've been lying,
to myself.


why can't we turn back the time.
if we can,
i won't let all these things happen.
everything will be fine and normal.

but the fact is,
we can't.
i can only escape.
escape from the fact the way it is now.
don't feel like doing anything or making any decision.
just run away.

.

sooo freaking tired now.
no sleep for the whole night.
went for TMA paper this morning.
6 topics but end up only like a few questions.
but i answer all craps.
only used 15mins to complete but couldnt leave the class so early.
so waited for another 15mins then left.

okay i'm going to bed.
most probably gonna wait till night time then will wake up.

last paper ASCM on thursday.

it aches.
once bitten, twice shy

.

it's aching.
i dont know why.
i'm not happy with my life now.
everything seems to screwed up,
by me.

life,
about making decisions,
full of regrets.

can you give me an answer?
will you?

IAF test just now.
only spent half hour and i'm out of the room.
only able to do 1 qns.(cos there's only 2 qns)
hope at least that qns is right.

i'm off to bed.

i miss the big group

.

headache now.
IAF test tml.
never even finish studying.
i just wanna sleep like foreverrrr.

tuesday TMA test.
thursday ASCM test.
=/

lots of incomplete projects.
i hate projects!
cause researching is NEVER ENDING~~


if only we could turn back time.
things wouldn't be like this now.
everything will be back to normal.


when can you forgive me?
i miss gossiping and complaining to you.
i'm sorry.
i really regretted it.

.

double blow.
2 friends.

gone.
i'm such a loser.

i'm sorry.
i screwed it up.

.

trainin at 8.30am tml.
but i cant sleep.
mus be cos of lala n liz's violent-ness.
nightmares for me.
haha.

bet i will faint on court tml.
n my tummy is still washing inside =/

went manlin's bdae celebration on monday.
great to see so many pple over dere.
watched video.
again,
sad song with all our photos.
make me wanna tear.
i miss them.
i miss the times when we hangout tog.

even thou ah ma is naggy,
still miss her lo-so-ness.
althou sharon is auntie,
still miss her crap.
althou manlin is bossy,
still miss de way she prepare n plan things for me.
even thou ame's chinese is lousy,
she's still so crap.
even thou peipei is a policewoman nw,
she's still funny.
althou chris is still lame,
she's still lame.
miss ahlu too.
don have to miss liz n lala cos still seein them nowadays haha.
i miss you all :(


it's time,
to mit up all frens.
you will never know whats gonna happen tomorrow.



next week gonna be MST.
3 papers for me.
but i've not touch anything yet AT ALL.
hope i can start touching tomorrow.



karma?
i believe too.


19th june.
happy 15th?





things aint good for me nowadays.
everything turn out to be bad.
i'll still miss the way we go against liz's trg.

.

washing machine stomach

.

itchy butt causes all these
:(

.

Day 2

woke up ard 8plus.
went indoor court for trg.
lunched at fc5.
went swimming.
back to room,
bathe,
rest,
played games,
went court for friendly wif alumni,
dinner at jurong east with alumni too,
back to school,
bathe,
play,
sleep.


Day 3

have problems waking up again.
raining heavily in the morning.
so doze lazy ones like me will stay inside our sleeping bags,
tryin to psycho jingxian tat we canot train cos rainin.
end up all of us started going back into our sleepin bags.
till coach called n he's reaching alr.
so no choice,
drag ourselves up,
went indoor court,
uncle david said badminton players havin trg onli at 3pm,
so we can still use the court,
but at 10am,
badminton players came,
so no choice,
we used half court each.
but happy cos someone noticed me,
haha.
after trg,
jez, liz, eileen, idy, steph n me went imm,
cat n ade came too,
bought bbq stuffs,
tired lk f,
walking zombies,
cabbed back to school,
start bbq-ing,
even cooked fried rice n it's nice.
coach came after his game,
cooked for him,
chatted till 10plus,
went our room n played games,
BUI EH did something DAMN FUNNY tat all of us laugh lk f,
is really laugh till all of us will drop on floor kicking,
but RA so canot elaborate too much,
haha.
last night alr,
tot of going to west coast to watch EURO while some can go nightwalk,
but doze year1 went down for private session,
while we discuss abt jersey n stuffs,
discuss till tired n fall asleep.
something embarrassing happened,
cos lina n the year1s are not asleep yet,
then dey say tat BUI EH tot there's a cat calling for mama outside,
so dey started to get scare,
but cos cat slept beside me n she knew tat it's my snoring,
but dey don believe until all of them stand infront of my sleeping bag to listen.
damnit man.
i was still sleeping happily while i've become the biggest joke.
ohya,
somemre dey look at my friendster photos n found out tat all my photos will not show any teeth.
so i was curious n look through jus now.
it's true.
haha!

ohya,
n i got a weird nickname,
called chaota ping
forgot why is it chaota ping but from jessie(barBRA)


Day 4

last day of training.
morning training at indoor court,
till 12plus cos we ended quite earli.
i was really tired till fall asleep while they rest are still training.
then jez still took picture of me sleeping -.-
lunched at fc5 with liz, jez, eileen, jingxian, idy, ahdoy n steph.
home sweet home.



mit liz n jez at somerset.
went down zouk to mit lina n cor.
regretted gg down.
cos beforehand say till v nice tat wont drag me down.
but end up?
drag me down to the dancefloor somemore -.-
maybe shouldnt go at all.
but saw quite a few familiar faces like wuman n peifen.
went cor's hse.
slept till 3pm.
home sweet home.




whats wrong with me

.

I'M BACK FROM CAMP!
ACHING ALL OVER.

GOOD NEWS!
AH DAI'S BABIES ARE STILL ALIVE!!!
:)


DAY 1

supposed to mit mates at IMM at 9am.
took cab over to JE to fetch jez n eileen,
but tink we reach ard 9plus =/
shopped for food n stuffs,
took cab to school.
"check in" to our room.
this time is so much better.
dance room @ moberly.
normally will be at biz school.
this time our room is so much more comfortable and bigger.
really seems like chalet lo.
haha.
inside room still got stage somemore!
den got those DJ stuffs.
aiya duno wat izit call also.

after "check in",
went stadium for running first,
followed by gym,
followed by training with coach.
super tiring.
our dinner is spaghetti cum canned food.
haha but it's nice okay.
cos cook our own.
althou overall kinda troublesome but fun :)
after first day,
we noe who's the big eater.
DEBBIE (jennet)
JORDON (debra)
JESSIE (barbara)

their appettite if really...........................
normally each person 1 serving but dey can like 3servings EACH.
somemore less than few hours hungry again.
tsk tsk.

after dinner,
bathe,
back to room,
played mahjong,
played poker,
played games,
n i found a nickname for andrea.
BUI EH~
hahahaha.
now the whole team called her BUI EH.
n she's so happy with the name.
haha cant stand her.

anyway,
ade came over,
den around 2am we walked her out to take cab.
whole sp is freaking dark alr.
so jez n i nervous like hell.
thanks to the 3 musketeers,
JORDON
JESSIE
XUELI
cos halfway we tot cos v dark den dey don dare to follow so stop halfway.
but after we walked ade out,
on the way back,
suddenly i turn to my left n saw 3heads popping out from the railing.
so i shout lk F.
den jez n i sweat lk hell.
if they were beside me,
i think i will just use my toothbrush to stabthem alr.
haha.

okay end of day 1.


sleepy alr.
continue next time.
haha

.

AH DAI GAVE BIRTH LE!!

but duno this time round will still eat the babies away not =/
this morning pass by her cage then saw the tissue moving,
then saw some tiny red red thingy.
dont dare to touch but this time seems alot wor.
tat time only 4.
but this time ah dai still sleep with the babies lo.
or sleeping ON the babies?
haha.

going camp from mon to thurs.
hope when i come back,
the babies are still alive and kicking.
haha.
omg so excited.

.

FAILED.
sigh.
don say le.
disappointing,
discouraging,
ANGRY.

anyway,
jez n ade do surprised me at my doorsteps.
kinda shocked cos duno hw they noe where's my hse.
den is cos dey called J -.-
dey say supposed to surprise to celebrate,
but end up become consoling me =/
went parkway parade for lunch.
had sakae,
talk craps but i didnt talk much.
den ade miss my voice.
haha.
but started this topic abt ambition.
cos we helped ade to tink abt wat job can she do.

me: forensic la. or help dead pple to makeup?
jez: sell coffin la. sure v rich one cos everyday got pple die.

den duno who started sayin buy 1 get 1 free.
jez still say buy big free small.
duno ade or jez still say like doze bubble tea got to accumulate stamps.
den our customer can accumulate den can get free vouchers.
haha den we laughed damn loud inside sakae.
cos every biz oso will have tis kind of promotion.
except coffin biz.
haha where got pple wan tis kind of offer.
den started sayin wat membership.
got discount.
den birthday month oso got discount.
hahaha!
noe we're damn mean n sway.
but it's really funny.

our biz name is JAX Coffin Pte Ltd.
adelina chan - director
jessica chan - shareholder
xiaoping tan - shareholder

hahahahaha.
bth.
but at least cheer me up :)
so THANK YOU =D

anyway,
ade treat both of us for sakae.
haha we're the xiao bai lians



what can i do to make you happy

.

going for driving lesson in half hour time.
hope it wont rain.
going out with mum n bro after driving.
knew that ade would kill me.
but sorry la,
family first.
also maybe by the time i rushed down to CCAB,
think they also play finish alr.
haha.


PEOPLE,
I NEED LOTS OF LUCK TML!
COS MY CIRCUIT SKILL SUCKS TO THE CORE.
SO PLEASE GIVE ME SOME LUCK!!
HAHA.
1.55PM TO 2.40PM.
IF NV RECEIVE ANY MSG FROM ME AFTER 2.40PM,
YOU SHOULD KNOW WHY...........

anyway,
nv pin much hope too.
cos i know i will sure hit kerb or pole.
as usual.
every circuit lesson oso hit hit hit.
damn nervous.
jus now they still countdown for me.
kns.
haha.

tml before test have 1hr of circuit lesson too.
please~
hope i don waste money.

PLEASE GIVE ALL LUCKS TO ME!!!

.

tagged by YEW PEIPEI to do this.

1. How long will you wait for someone you love?
-depends

2. What do you want to do now?
-sleep

3. What will you be doing at 6pm?
-continue to nua at home?

4. Do you hate your friends sometimes?
-if i hate, means tat person isnt my friend

5. Where do you wish to die?
-honestly, afraid to die. but if really must die, home.

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
-reality, yes. if refering to other stuffs, no.

7. What impossible things you wish to do?
-u noe u noe.. haha

8. Your darkest secret?
-the secret that you will never know

9. Are you happy with your life now?
-no! only after i pass my drivin test on 6/6! haha

10. What if your crush asked you out?
-faints

11. Describe your other half.
-just like a pig. haha!

12. What feelings do you hate the most?
-confuse

13. What will you do if you fall in love w your best guy/girl friend
-faints

14. What are you looking forward to in the coming weeks?
- this week, driving test! next week, bball camp?

15. The most important thing in your life.
-family first. J and friends second.

16. Who do you hope to always be there for you?
-family, friends

17. Do you find life meaningless?
- yes. but still, don wish to die yet

18. Who do you love the most?
- family, friends. -.- abit irritating to ans same ting over n over again

19. The craziest thing(s) you ever did.
- don rem. i always wan my face :)

20. What's your greatest wish?
-this friday. haha!

21. do u love ice cream?
-sometimes

The 8 person that i have tagged to do this quiz:
1. jessica
2. eileen
3. idy
4. kaingee
5. kaiwei
6. joyce
7. corissa
8. ade
(possibility of people who will read my blog. ah har now u noe who's the kaypo one. haha)

.

had a dream just now..
about 06/06/08.
i can sense it.
bad omen.

haha.
k gtg bye.