.

okay good news.
this week i'm like having self-declared holiday
:)

today BD lesson cancelled.
so only went school for TMA lesson from 2pm to 5pm.
tml IAF tutorial cancelled.
but i'm skipping school whole day!
haha cause hazel skipping too.
but gonna go school at 5pm for IAF test.
i'm really dead.
too lazy to touch my notes now.
wed ASCM tutorial cancelled!
only left GBE lecture but tats like totally useless,
so i'm skipping again!
haha.
thursday BD lesson cancelled again!
so i'm thinking whether to go school cause only 1hr class.
but got training on thursday =/


okay there goes my last year of POLITE game
:(
disappointing,
cause of myself,
not anyone else.


okay i really need to get my butt away from this com.
STUDY!



just so you know

.

i'm sooo tired now.
sleeping soon already =/

this week gonna be a busy and tiring week for me.
monday wednesday friday saturday WORK.
tuesday IAF TEST.
wednesday BD project submission.
YET i didnt even touch my IAF notes,
and i swear i dunno anything about IAF.
didnt even type out my BD project.

tomorrow still gonna work after school.
i dunno how am i going to finish all those stuffs.
okay so please don disturb me for this week
:)


but good news!
BD lesson today cancelled!
so only need to go school from 2pm to 5pm :)
thou i'm lazy to go,
but already skipped last week,
so no choice.


anyway,
phone is here.
but battery life kinda sucks.
must be all thanks to ade.
cause she totally treat it as her phone.
ALL photos have her face inside.
haha.
shall upload when i'm free?

okay i really need to sleep now.


OEI.
WHAT.
NOTHING.

.

I'M SO SLEEPY!
woke up at 10am just to wait for my phone =/
go school also never so hardworking lor.
haha.
10am to 1pm.
what a wide range.
i may be waiting till 1pm even?
okay i'm really tired.
but nobody's at home,
thats why.
can sleep till 3pm then go school lo =/

bye my phone :(
bye the photos :((
abit regret to trade in.
shouldnt have do that :(((


okay im bored now.


last game later.
10% excited.
90% NERVOUS!!
please don give me 100% disappointed :(

.

i'm so lazy to start BD project now.
went for dinner with family just now.
been quite long since all of us eat together.
cause everytime also not at home =/

chatting with mates just now again.
even eileen and liz also ganged up with the year1s.
nothing to say.
disappointed.
haha.

countdown to 12 more hours for my phone :)
but kinda bu she de.
cause trade in my current phone.
the photos inside :(
not going for lessons too.


last game tomorrow.
hmmm.



okay it hurts.
i really dont understand you.

.

yuan liang wo & teng ai.
favourite.

.

i'm in school!
haha.
lesson 11am to 12pm.
having break now till 3pm -.-

supposed to go gym with hazel they all,
but after yesterday game,
my elbow hurts now =/
feel that sharp pain when i bend it :(

anyway,
needless to say,
also know the result yesterday =/
haha.

people,
last game tomorrow.
gonna be my LAST POLITE GAME.
let's be more serious okay.
be confident,
but not complacent.
don give up easily please.


heading home after school today.
been quite long since i go home after school =/
gonna be a good girl today :)

my phone will be arriving tomorrow!
EXCITED x 876132165746513!!


anyway,
yesterday after school mit jez eileen steph lina ade.
went causeway,
spent alot of time deciding what to eat -.-
went eileen's house for mahjong.
but i didnt play cause i'm damn tired.
so took a short nap instead.
poor steph.
treat it as your lesson fee okay?
haha.


okay just read eileen's blog.
i know your waiting to online so tat can suan me right.
luckily i'm too tired after game yesterday.
so slept quite early without going online.
haha.
stop saying me!!
it's not me!!!
haha


okay gonna go find liz for lunch soon.




start my day with a :)

.

i'm in school!
cause having practical test,
cannot dont come =/

i'm freaking tired.
having game with TP later.
GOD BLESS.

anyway,
i bought new phone yesterday!
but will be delivering to my house on friday.
so if it arrive late,
think i will be skipping lesson?
haha omg cant wait.
but kinda regret about some specs of the phone,
but too late.
already paid =/


okay and i swear BRACESKONG is mean.
cant stop disturbing me.
i've names like chao ta ping, tiko ping, vampire ping, blablabla.
PUIFOONG too.
STEPH and XUELI TOOOO.
haha.


lesson end at 12pm later.
think meetin ade n steph for lunch in school,
then going eileen house for mahjong.
haha cause game tonight at 8.30pm.
but i feel like sleeping more now.




STABBED

.

sleepless night/morning

have problem sleeping at night.
but once fall asleep,
wake up easily in the morning.
like yesterday,
lesson at 11am,
but woke up at 7am.
ate something and go back to sleep,
end up never wake up for lesson.
lesson at 9am today.
woke up at 7am again.
cant get to sleep anymore.

last minute gonna wear full formal for presentation later -.-
i also don have full formal lor.
heck care.

okay i dread going school later.
have presentation.
and i didnt do tutorial.
sigh




WHY

.

only worked 6pm to 9pm today.
cause that outlet close early.
no customer one lo.
during the 3hours,
only 3 customers.
haha.
but the environment is big and nice.

having GBE presentation tml =/
didnt do IAF tutorial.
bet the tutor will slap me.

i dread school :(
i dread everything :(((





i thought i hope that everything can be back like normal.
now,
it can be back to normal.
but why i don feel happy at all?

i dunno what i want.
or can i even choose what i want?

so near yet so far

.

i didnt turn up for school today again =/
sorry hazel.
i swear my attendance now is the suckiest throughout my 3yrs.
tomorrow having presentation.
cant skip anymore.
been skipping tues class for straight 3weeks already!
but still have training after school tml.

gonna go work later.
but they asked me to go UE square later instead =/
sian.
new environment again.
i hate to change here and there.
somemore i'm like still a noob.
go there sure paiseh.




who wants who back.
who needs who.
who wants who.
who knows.

.

worked 12pm to 11pm today.
FREAKING TIRED.
and my left wrist is FREAKING PAIN.
got no strength to hold the tray with that hand,
so gonna use both hands.

and i made a BIG mistake today.
i spill a glass of soda drink on a customer today :(
that drink is with LOTS of cube fruits somemore =/
i swear i'm an idiot.
was holding the drink on a tray using my left hand.
placing spoon on the table,
then i dunno why,
the drink on the tray just suddenly fall and yeah,
spill on the customer =/
luckily she's quite young and ya,
apologised but thou she's said nvm,
but i think she's cursing me deep inside.
cause it's like kena her shirt n shorts?
heard her friend said "luckily u wear black"
okay then i'm like damn guilty and sad over that incident.
but liz and my supervisors are like laughin at it.
cause they went to ask liz how am i all that.
still came to ask me i got xia dao izit.
and they compensate that customer a dessert.
the rest of my colleagues were like consoling me,
saying it's just an accident.
sigh.
what a day.
and my wrist is hurting even more badly now
:(


okay still gonna work tml.
lucky me start work at 5pm :)
liz FULL shift :))))





i don like that feeling,
when you don bother about me.
okay,
i know i'm a bastard.
okay,
i dunno what to do.

is it real?

.

game with ITE today.
thou lost but i think they played pretty well.
liz n i were benched today.
but it's like fun watching than playing.
haha.
cheer and shout like what only.
haha.

went causeway point for dinner with mates.
split into 3 tables.
but were playing some staring games.
and liz got irritated by me.
cos jez n i keep staring and hinting each other.
haha.

trained back home.
gonna work tml.
gonna hurt my wrist again =/
sleepy.





if time could paused.
if i could know what i'm thinking.
at least for now,
i think everything is fine and normal.

.

.

hate myself for making those stupid mistakes.
mistakes that i don make normally.
pao bu,
double.
and it's not just one time you know.
we could have do so much better.
we could have win.
f my mistakes.
f my stamina.
i donwan sp to be the last.
but we've lost this chance.
and f their coach for looking down at us.
f hell.

maybe i'm jus dai sai.

yest after school,
mit liz, ahdoy, braceskong and steph at fc5 pizzahut.
my order was the slowest and not nice at all.
after that went guild house.
wanted to bowl but full,
wanted to pool but renovation.
end up walked but to moberly.
wanted to jam but have to wait till 3pm.
so i went cafe but it's close.
cause i've to go back biz blk for meeting at 3pm.
so they went jamming first,
and i climb up to biz blk for meeting.
but end up i reached there,
only took papers then can climb down already -.-
only steph and debbie are the pros.
liz almost killed us by her drumming skills.
5pm went back fc5.
meet up the rest of the mates.
bus-ed to rp.

i must be sway whole day.
ade said i din perform.
i know.
i dont play like this last year.
i know no matter how disappointed and angry i am,
coach is the most disappointed.
thou he didnt say,
he didnt scold.
but he must be so disappointed.

didnt go to school today.
the lesson is the one i received warning letter already.
i think soon i'm gonna forward that module.
going out soon,
with project mates to interview NUM.
whole body aching like f.
nose pain like f.

.

i'm in school!
haha.
bad headache now,
due to 3+hours of sleep only.
basically i'm not listening in class now =/

talking to shuyi online.
then she said that time she talked to rosie and they talked about our sec school life.

SHUYI: 雨过天晴 says:
u like to slp during lesson
SHUYI: 雨过天晴 says:
no one noe u're sleeping
SHUYI: 雨过天晴 says:
but u slp will suddenly JERK!
SHUYI: 雨过天晴 says:
haha
SHUYI: 雨过天晴 says:
then everyone noe le
SHUYI: 雨过天晴 says:
haha
SHUYI: 雨过天晴 says:
then u always stretch ur hand me and rosie will pull ur hands from back!
SHUYI: 雨过天晴 says:
haha
SHUYI: 雨过天晴 says:
u slp u will use a pen to support ur head!
SHUYI: 雨过天晴 says:
haha
SHUYI: 雨过天晴 says:
so memorable
my nose =/ says:
-.-
my nose =/ says:
wth. haha
SHUYI: 雨过天晴 says:
u used to be so cute last time, wat happened now?!
SHUYI: 雨过天晴 says:
LOL




okay it's quite memorable.
haha

.

it's gonna be 3am but i'm still awake!
im dead.
left less than 4 hours of sleep =/

was chattin online with some of the year1s,
ahdoy debbie steph puifoong bracesbra.
but last survivors were me puifoong bracesbra.
n i regretted so badly.
cos im sooo hurt by them.
insult me like what only
:(
they will get it from me tml,
i promised.
haha.


okay i start to feel nervous abt tml's match.
i hope we can get it back.

.

went dinner with family just now.
cos got pasar malam nearby then i cant resist n bought taiwan sausage.
jus now my aunt came n brought durians.
again i cant resist =/
omg i don think i only need 5days.
need 8days already!
haha.

lesson at 8am tml.
suppose to be sleeping now.
but seems lk i cant?
still so awake.




sometimes i wonder,
what am i to you?

.

went to clinic jus now.
dunno what flu virus =/
doc says will recover in 5days times -.-
like POLITE games can wait for me for 5days lidat
:(

i hope i'll be fine by tml.
game against NYP.
no more mistake for me please.

nua whole day at home.
my favourite pastime :)



confuse

.

went BD lesson today.
felt so sick.
ate panadol from manlin.
strepsil,
sorethroat pill.
after that mit the rest at fc5.
ate 2 panadol from liz.
end up?
i'm still sick.

game with RP.
lost.
disappointed in myself.
for falling sick.
halfway ran to toilet to vomit.
feel like shit.
couldnt run cause will just feel like vomiting.

GUYS,
we can do better.
do what we do in training.
don be nervous.
LET'S PLAY BETTER IN THE NEXT GAME.
JIAYOU!




it's good to see you

.

I'M SO TIRED.

worked 1pm to 10.30pm today.
throughout the work,
liz n i are like walking zombies.
damn tired.
lucky liz cos she barista today.
so don have to walk around.
i've to walk around carrying all plates and glasses.
damn heavy till now my left hand wrist is really pain =/
so if tml i cant shoot,
blame Bakerzin.
haha.
and there's blister on my feet.

gonna sleep already.
having flu and sorethroat :(
think it's fated for me not to play tml already.

anyway,
i found a small teeth growing behind.
i dunno is it wisdom tooth or what.
but it's not pain.
I DONWAN WISDOM TOOTH.
I DONWAN GO DENTIST.
I DONWAN OPERATE TO PLUCK IT OUT.
I DONWAN HAVE SWOLLEN AND BLUEBLACK FACE.
:(

there's a big pimple on my nose now
:(((
pms-ing period.



confuse

.

okay i think at least some problems were settled and cleared now.
time to focus on tml's game =/

yesterday went town with hazel, yujin, jonan n alloy.
done some research for FYP thingy.
i ate A LOT the whole day.
after lunch with them,
i still bought Chippy cheese sausage with mashed potato.

went trg around 5plus.
after trg still went LJS with liz jez eileen jx steph.
and they made me pissed off by not telling me secrets.
haha.
went cityhall to wait for lala with liz.
went geylang,
ate durians, mangosteen and that "ba lu ku"
we're healthy yeah.
went prawning after that.
3hours of patience,
all we got back is 11 prawns.
pathetic.
haha.
BBQ the prawns after that,
went for dimsum after prawning.
thats like already 4plus in the morning?
reached home around 5am.
slept till now.
and i'm gonna drag my feet to work now.
hope no mistake today?

.

learnt my lesson.
it's always cos of me to result in all these troubles.
i don have the intention to,
but it always turns out to be my fault.
all along,
i treasure you guys.
i can stand all unreasonable acts.
as long as i don lose your over small matters.
but everyone's patience have limit.
don think just because i'm always easy going n your can climb over my head.
when i don have the intention to cause trouble,
but end up i've to carry all the rap for something i did not do.
i keep quiet.
cos i don wanna quarrel with frens.
but now?
i really cant stand it.
i fucking don wanna care about all those bullshit,
but why must you always drag me in?
i treat you all as frens but what your treat me as?
a piece of shit that i don deserve any respect at all?
i really learnt my lesson.
i'll not trust anyone anymore,
including you.
disappointed is all i can say.
i trust your.
i rather chose to tell the truth.
but what did i get?
backstab behind my back?
complaints behind my back?
plant a spy behind my back?
why cant i earn respect and trust?
like how i respect and trust your.
i've enough of all these rubbish.
from now on,
anyone annoy me with that again,
i wont entertain any fuck anymore.
fucking hell get lost in my life.
i already screwed up my life for some fuckin stupid incident.
wtf is all these!
cos i'm easy to bully?
wont angry?
angry period very short?
so i've to carry all the blames?
i carry all blames cos i don wanna lose your!
do you all know how i feel not?
do your know it's so fuckin pain?
fuckin trust.
fuckin lies.

since your think i changed.
okay i'll change for your to see.

what you guys want to see?
show?
want me to go back and be like normal right?
okay.
since all along i've no right to decide on my own stuffs.
i've to care about what others see.
i've to make a decision that everyone will be happy about it.
wtf.
it's my life you know?
BULLSHIT.

first day of work with liz yesterday.
quite fun but stress.
and liz instead of helping me,
she's making me throw face only -.-
cause she direct me to wrong things for 2 times!
-.-
want hai me only.
other than that,
the rest of the staffs are quite nice.
going for project meeting soon.
training after that.

.

i dunno whats wrong with you.
over such small matters.
read all the way back from the first post.
you're really childish that time.
i mean ya,
me too.
think back how you treated me in the past.
how hard i tried to woo you.
how foolish i am to do so much stuffs.
how happy we were when we finally got together.
how much quarrels we had.
these 3 years.
it's not fake.

.

i swear i feel like killing myself even more now.
one problem settle,
another arise.
it's all because of my idiotness!
i'm really very sorry.
i shouldnt have said all that.
it hurts as much as that.
i'm sorry.



from now on,
i shall not bother about the team stuffs.
cause i'm not captain or vice-captain.
so i shall NOT BOTHER anymore.
am i really that fierce?
i'm just guai lan what.
okay heck.


POLITE is coming.
i hope all of you understand its importance.
14/7 - RP 7.15pm
16/7 - NYP 8.30pm
18/7 - ITE 6pm
23/7 - TP 8.30pm
25/7 - NP 6pm
all games will be held in RP.
our team manager is right.
we're not like a team.
it's even worse than last few years.







i'm feeling like crap now.

HAPPY 19TH SHARON LIM HUI QING

.

i'm tired.
but didnt do my proj and tutorial yet.
went hm after dinner with liz jez eileen.
no mood to do anything now.

vvv unhappy about some of the year1s.
attitude towards the team like SHIT.
wan come, come.
wan go, go.
WTF is that?
and POLITE games is like next week?
damn all.


damn moody these few days.
must be pms-ing.

feel so empty.
like no one to trust.
cause no one trust me.

.

again,
i'm sorry for what had happened.
didn't mean to turn out this way.
it's always too late to regret or apologise after things had happened.
maybe all along,
i'm not worth to be trusted.

i swear my life now is all screwed up like fuck now.
why must you say such stuffs.
when you know it really hurts me.
i've no idea what can i still do.
all of you are my friends.
why must you draw a line between us.

just because of one stupid incident,
and everything turn out this way.
you think i want it to happen?
you think i'm happy with the situation now?
do you understand how i feel?

living in self-denial.
it's killing me.

.

lesson starts at 11am,
but i'm in school now already!
:)
but my eyes are like sooo tired.

cut and colour and hair yesterday.
like cock only =/
but still,
thanks :)

later lesson 11 to 12.
then going vivo to meet sis for lunch.
cause hazel they all going sauna,
i shy :D

then gonna go back school before 3pm for BD lesson.
=/
training later on :(
i cant run :(


i'm feel like SLEEPING!



i think i miss you

finally.........

.

i'm gonna be in dead shit.
my body clock is really functioning the other way round.
HELLOOO BODY~
IT'S NOT HOLIDAY ANYMORE~~

for the past few weeks,
i've been sleeping only in the MORNING.
thou i felt kinda headache now.
BUT I CANT SLEEP.
AND MY LESSON STARTS AT 9AM TML!!

sunday night watch spain v germany.
couldnt fall asleep after the game.
so around 6am then managed to sleep.
as expected,
cant wake up for today lesson.

slept till 2pm,
nua awhile and fall asleep again till 5plus.
then meet bro and sis for dinner at paya lebar.

tml gonna be a long day for me.
thou not going to training cause have some stupid event for SCM students =/
boring shit.
gonna end at 9plus somemore.
so i'm gonna be in school for 12hours!

i really hope i can wake up at 8am tml.
but my brain doesn't want to rest now :(


i'm gonna named ah dai's babies as....
THEODORE
SIMON
ALVIN
:)))
spent quite some time watching the hammies with my mum just now.
haha.


ohya,
my favourite song of the week.

KEN LEEE~
TULIBU DIBU DOUCHOOO~
KEN LEEEE~
I KEN LEE MEJU MORE~

am i wrong?
for choosing this step?