yesterday night meet liz and lac in bugis, after awhile went clarke quay. went cafe iguana, drank with jordan, bui eh, xueli and bui eh's friend. opened a bottle of tequila. CAN DIE. drank quite a few shots, to me really can die already. drank a glass mixed with soft drink, drank a few glasses of margarita. and i totally gone case when we left the place.
threw up in the middle of nowhere in clarke quay. i think i threw up my whole day meals inside. disgusting.. hate that feeling of vomiting. second time i threw up cause of drinking. totally embarrassing can. don dare to go clarke quay anymore. most importantly! i think i vomited on their feet too. haha! SOMEBODY also dirty my white shorts with choco icecream.... though mine was millions times more disgusting =D ohya, still dirtied her towel. haha!
okay after that my head hurt like ffffffff. so don wanna care about anything else already. wanted to go home, but dunno why ended up in bui eh's friend house. landed property sio...
then i remember hearing someone snoring in the middle of the night. kinda scary one. definitely not jordan or me. cause it's from the bed. should be bui eh. haha! okay i think maybe i snore too? but how i know right..
this morning woke up with jordan, after she got into cab, i waited for so damn freaking long!! arghh i hate cabs.
but luckily they didnt throw me aside when i'm all wasted and unglam. haha thanks la.
i can so sleep till 3 or 4 then wake up. but just couldnt sleep anymore =/ liz finish work at 3pm, suppose to meet her, but no mood to go out. haben even go cut my hair. haben even change my hammies bedding.
i so don feel like moving at all.
guess i'll be meeting juniors to drink tonight. but i so cant drink. hope they will drag me home after that. hah.
5 more days to hongkong..
you left me thinking. wtf is wrong. no goodbye, no leaving, then what is this.
terrible day. had too much news to absorb. i think i'm gonna have asthma soon. still felt so breathless during work.
work today was just alright. cheryl not working so no one to disturb. elkana work dinner shift so cannot disturb too. but joshua was kinda funny. cause i always drop stuffs when i'm on the way to kitchen. then dunno why he keep dropping too then he said kena my virus.
i seriously think i'm dying soon. after watching 1 EPISODE of '1 litre of tears' LAST TIME, cause i dunno why, i keep hitting on things recently, keep dropping things. when normally during work, i wont lidat. but these few days i'm just lidat -.-
after work met lac, went cityhall to meet bao, qh, jh and hy. had dinner at shokudo, then head down to arab street for seesha. i had been going there so often recently. but dunno why just don feel good to be there today. and my throat is like burning now. okay i can so sense that my life is shorter now.
been quite sway today. keep saying things like i go hongkong then wont come back. cause my mum said there's still typhoon over there? okay, so i shall leave my last word before i leave. though CHOY.
okay no work tomorrow. gonna so cut my hair, change hammies bedding, tidy my house, sleep all i want.
girls can really be that heartless if they want to. i shall stop my want-don-want-attitude. cause in the end, i'm the one to suffer.
i really wanna leave so much now. like clear my mind. though i know when i'm back, things will definitely change.
why the one who hook my arms wasnt you. why the one who rest the head on my shoulder wasnt you.
just a little more colder than this, it's so gonna be a bye.
last paper yesterday. hazel said i look thinner already, but yujin said im girly with my hair longer now =/
time for a haircut before i leave.
late for work today. was damn tired and headache. cat and friends passed by, and she said i'm girly too =/ everything were smooth at work. keep laughing and playing with cheryl. and keep going into kitchen to disturb liz at the bar.
intitally still looking forward to something. end up only disappointment. then, until something happened and spoilt my mood totally. i admit i'm affected. and things started to go wrong. started to have those fucking fussy customers coming in. was damn fed up by then. until that stupid cheryl did something stupid again. cause i heard a bang and when i turned, i saw her keep laughing outside the door. then she said cause she was looking at me, and she didnt know the door was close, so she bang onto it. okay for that, i keep laughing non stop.
work at 11am to 6pm tomorrow. meeting friends after that. hope everything goes smoothly.
sat gonna be my off day. though suppose to have plans for that day. but now, forget it.
you'll never know how it feels. cause all along, you'd never care. it's over, for good.
i felt even more stupid now. to wait and hope, in vain. hoping that my phone beeps. i thought i think it through yesterday. i thought i know what happen exactly. i thought i know why will i feel this way. i thought it's just a way to fill my empty heart. i thought. it's all fucking thought.
WALKED to bedok reservoir mac to study just now. i swear it's freaking scary. though it's only a few busstops, but it's FAR.
managed to eat big breakfast with LARGE coke, studied first set of notes. second set of notes, ermm, wait till i wake up later to continue. luckily paper is at 6pm. if not i'm gonna be in dead shit.
for now, i'm so looking forward to hongkong trip. leaving to somewhere far, ease my mind. 8 more days to hongkong!!
plan for this week: today: paper 6pm to 8.10pm (thou i know i will finish it earlier) thursday: work 12pm to 10.30pm (MAYBE seesha with juniors after that) friday: work 11am to 6pm (meet bao and guys after work) saturday: OFF DAY (no plan yet. MAYBE drinking session with juniors at night) sunday: work 12pm to 10.30pm
next monday and tuesday working too. wednesday gonna stay at home to pack luggage. and i've to leave at thursday early morning like 4am?
any kind soul wanna adopt my hammies for 5 days? haha cause i've like 9 now? =/
after hongkong trip gonna work and prepare for drving test again. know i'm gonna fail again but it's okay.
watched some tattoo show yesterday. have that urge to get one again. i wanna have it on my right bottom neck. but it gonna be so obvious and pain for sure. i don have the guts yet =/
okay time for sleep.
when everything turns bad so quickly. but gonna be back as normal, like the past.
TMA paper at 6pm - 8pm tomorrow. but i'm like at the first page of the notes only =/ really no mood to study, after missing IAF paper, totally like no exam mood already. cause it's like so gonna forward module :(
i wanna get out of my house. cause i cant study at home!! =/
successfully worked 6 days straight! feel a sense of accomplishment. haha. time to have a break. off today and tomorrow. but last paper tomorrow so i still gonna study =/
heard that qi dai ni de ai song during work yesterday. okay so reminded me about bangkok. i wanna go bangkok like soon! but i'm so going hongkong =/
okay suddenly i realised my life is kinda boring. revolving around the same things everyday. i'm so gonna get bored to death.
recently there's quite a few people who passed away. main point is, i know who are they. especially this boy live opposite me, and was my junior in school. he and his friend suicide by jumping off the window. i dont understand why when people want suicide, they dont leave last words behind or whats the reason. then after they died, people had to guess the reason why.
if is me, i will so write everything down. so people will know what i'm thinking and why i wanna die. ha. so if one day i die without leaving anything behind, it means i'm not attempting to suicide. ha.
it's quite sad to end your life. like once you decide to end, you know you will lose everything. even if there's really next life, you wont remember a single thing.
i cant imagine me dying. cause i will be so separated with my family. what if i dont remember them.
okay weird post. but trust me, i dont intend to die. haha.
i'd been working straight 4 days this week already. tomorrow gonna be the 5th day. monday gonna be the 6th day. okay i'm so going crazy.
only working makes my days pass faster, so i wont have to bother about other things.
and i'm so going hongkong like SOON. :) but i dunno why, everytime i've to bring the same feeling when i'm going for holiday. excited about going, but dread going too.
okay gonna sleep and work from 12pm to 10.30pm tomorrow =/ i would be glad if any kind soul were to meet me after work. cause i'll be bored from whole day of work :(
i thought this is what i wanted, but why do i feel a lil too uneasy now. i'm just taking things for granted, taking you for granted.
I OVERSLEPT FOR IAF PAPER TODAY! IT'S EXAM YOU KNOW. 50%!! I MERELY JUST WANTED TO TAKE A SHORT NAP AND WAKE UP TO STUDY AGAIN. BUT I WOKE UP AT 11PLUS! WHEREAS MY PAPER IS FROM 9AM TO 11.10AM!! -.-
went to take mc just now. benefit of having sensitive nose like me. never fails to get mc for that. the doc still wanna give me 2 days of mc. haha but no thanks, CAUSE GBE PAPER TOMORROW. I CANT OVERSLEPT AGAIN!
consequences of overslept today: FORWARD MODULE. cause my attendance and result for IAF is like shit, i think my ptn sure wan me to forward that module. which means, I CANT GRADUATE PEACEFULLY ON MY 3RD YEAR! :((((((
okay i'm sad. and somebody's still sleeping like a pig =/
i dread for wednesday to come. cause wednesday to sunday gonna be so no life. work, work and WORK.
Love Guru is not nice at all =/ even j halfway also complained not nice. dunno whose idea to watch lor =/ haha. after movie, went bakers for dinner cause liz working. and my supervisor gave me 50% off! surprisingly. haha i thought the most only 25%. think cause this morning he asked if i can help him work on thursday. cause i paiseh to reject, so agreed to work. thats why he treat me so nice.
but sadly, i'm working wednesday to sunday ALONE. liz and eileen both not working in any of the days. kinda regretted.
anyway i'm suppose to be studying. paper at 9am. i only TOUCHED like 2 chapters. and nobody seems to be studying today, so gonna study at home. but i'm kinda sleepy already :(
gonna go find some food to keep myself awake! GBE paper on wed. needless to say, haben study at all.
think recently my life is revolving too much around work, that i've drifted apart from a lot of stuffs. but one day i still have to go back to the normal past, then i will realised how much i'd drifted.
nearly die during work yesterday. tired like f, eyes are so heavy. despite forcing myself to drink 2 ice mocha, liz even added double shots. and dunno what i ate yesterday, make me diarrhea the whole day whenever i went toilet. =/
IAF paper tomorrow morning! i cant afford to fail, cause i failed the test that day. i even have to pass by quite a lot, if not half more year in SP for me. sigh. hope i can really study later.
no time study, still got time to watch Love Guru later =/ if i fail, only can say serve me right.
please tell me, i'm not making a fool out of myself, i'm not living in self-denial.
loving someone doesnt mean have to be together, as long as she's happy. right? right.
supposed to work 1pm to 10pm yesterday. but 2 of them didnt turn up. so i was telling eileen that i've a bad feeling, that i will have to stay till closing. so throughout the work i didnt remind ken that i work till 10pm only. until around 9plus, eileen big mouth go ask ken. so, I'VE TO WORK TILL CLOSING -.-
and some drunkards called and dunno what they talking about. haha.
but yesterday keep kena nagged by liz. cause eileen and i keep talking, then she keep nagging whenever she walked pass.
okay 12pm to 11pm today again. I'M TIRED.
i know saying sorry doesnt help at all. i understand. you deserve so much better.
i'm feeling a little giddy giddy now. don dare to take a short nap, cause working at 1pm. if i sleep, SURE OVERSLEPT. just realised i'm only working 1pm to 10pm today :))) but eileen and liz working till closing.
yesterday after dinner, went haji lane with jordan, braceskong, buieh and xueli. dunno who told me 7.30pm, end up i reached at 8.45pm, no one reach yet!! -.- ate in some Egyptian restaurant. like shit. cause whatever food also have something like tartar sauce on it. so braceskong and i had to keep getting rid of it.
around 1am went down st james. poor ade. too slow. cant blame me. haha.
ohya and cause someone is at st james too! haha. liz cant stop suan-ing me. one touch and my heart fly to JB too. haha! okay, regretted for hurting her in the past.
okay it's weekend. working time again =/
i've no idea how to react. holding back my feelings. pretending everything is fine. just don wanna get hurt anymore.
please IGNORE that stupid mtv. but mark is my fav last time. HAHA
okay this song is like super long ago. but heard it during work today, so ya.
okay now then i know rihanna have this 'take a bow', so do leona lewis. no wonder why like everytime listen also different =/
The flowers are faded now, along with your letters They will never see the light of day, cause I'll never take them out There's no turning back, it's for the better Baby I deserved more then empty words and promises I believed every thing you said, and I gave you the best I had
So take a bow Cause you've taken everything else You played the part and Like a star you played it so well (played it so well) Take a bow Cause this scene is coming to an end I gave you love All you gave me was pretend So now Take a bow
The future's about to change, before you know it, The curtain closes, take a look around, There's no one in the crowd, I'm throwing away the pain, And you should know that your performance made me stronger now
So take a bow Cause you've taken everything else (everything else) You played the part and Like a star you played it so well (played it so well) (oh oh oh) So take a bow (take a bow) Cause this scene is coming to an end I gave you love All you gave me was pretend (so now) So now Take a bow
Well it must have been slight of hand, 'cause I still can't understand Why I could never see, just what a fool believes But the lies they start to show, tell me how does it feel to know, right now That I wont be around, so baby before I put you out
So take a bow (oh oh oh) Cause you've taken everything else (you've taken everything else) You played the part and Like a star you played it so well (played it so well, so well) Take a bow (oh) Cause this scene is coming to an end (yeah) I gave you love All you gave me was pretend (so now) So now Take a bow
Take a bow (oh oh ooh) Cause you've taken everything else (yeah ah yeah) You played the part and (I gave you one more chance) Like a star you played it so well (played it so well) (I gave you all my love) Take a bow Cause this scene is coming to an end (the end) I gave you love All you gave me was pretend (ooh ooh ooh) So now (oh oh yeah) Take a bow
It's been the longest winter without you I didn't know where to turn to See somehow I can't forget you After all that we've been through
Going coming thought I heard a knock Who's there no one Thinking that I deserve it Now I realise that I really didn't know If you didn't notice you mean everything Quickly I'm learning to love again All I know is I'ma be ok
[Chorus:] Thought I couldn't live without you It's gonna hurt when it heals too It'll all get better in time And even though I really love you I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to It'll all get better in time
I couldn't turn on the TV Without something there to remind me Was it all that easy To just put aside your feelings
If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh Hurt my feelings but that's the path I believe in And I know that time will heal it If you didn't notice boy you meant everything Quickly I'm learning to love again All I know is I'ma be ok
[Chorus:] Thought I couldn't live without you It's gonna hurt when it heals too It'll all get better in time And even though I really love you I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to It'll all get better in time
Since there's no more you and me It's time I let you go So I can be free And live my life how it should be No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you Yes I will
my legs are like gonna break soon. work today is like boring. around 7pm no customer already. then all of us were like saying can close early today. then dunno who saw fiona xie beside our shop. so all of us purposely went outside to see. even the kitchen staffs came out -.- now you know the power of big booby. haha.
cause i gave them a shocking look today. liz and elkana laughed at me the whole night, whenever they remember my tat look. damn.
tomorrow i'm OFF from work. okay i'm like happy. finally a day, i can sleep till late and nua at home. but the year1s are tempting me to go out tomorrow =/
weekends, working again. okay at least work makes me busy, so that i wont think, that much.
cause very free during work today. think a lot. i'm really sick and tired of how people look or gossip about me. i don wanna care anymore. no matter what they say, i'm still gonna be firm in my stand. i don care. i hate regrets.
say i'm stubborn, i'm dumb, i'm naive, i'm a bastard, i still know what i want.
i'm not looking forward to ending work anymore.
false hope, is all i get. i chose to believe in everything, but disappointment is all i get. 2 years ago, i'm naive. 2 years later, i'm still naive.
everything, i mean it.
tell me, it's just a joke.
i thought it's already numbed. can it don hurts, like please.
i've no right, to ask you back
i'm so gonna mia, like soon. only work and sleep is all i need.
i'm seriously deprived of sleep. going to study soon. test at 9am tomorrow =/ don think i will be going for IAF makeup lesson. cause work is at 12pm. i've a feeling that i will faint during work tomorrow.
I'M SORRY. I KNOW I SUCK. BUT HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND. but don always expect me to do something, when you ownself don even do it. isnt it abit too unfair?
I never could imagine, life without you From the moment you walked into my world Never knew how long a loving flame could burn But losing you has forced me to learn That we can't change the way we feel inside And every try at love never turns out right We both know it's better if we just let it go So let's have
One last kiss One last touch One last tender moment between us One last dance To our first song While pretending there's nothing wrong Let's stay here for awhile and Cherish every moment we're in denial We both know Its better if we just let it go
Everytime I try to take a stand at all I see your face again and I fall In the middle of the night there's the scent of a rose The smell of your perfume I suppose But we can't change the way we feel inside And every try at love never turns out right We both know it's better if we just let it go So let's have
Baby if we met each other under a different sky Maybe then things would be much better between you and I We could always hold on to this one special thing we share But it would be too much for us to bear So let's have
it'd been a tiring day. bus-ed to bishan this morning. meeting mates at 8.15am but i reached at 8.45am. damn that stupid bus.
played friendly with bishan ite. weather is freaking hot. ran a few minutes and feel like gonna suffer from heatstroke. had lunch buffet at their school, but wasnt nice =/
train-ed down to sentosa. at the moment when we sat down, ade pour a shot of vodka for me. just a small cup of shot, and i'm down. whatever that happened after that, i cant remember clearly. but i think jez n ade had molested me ENOUGH already. haha. okay i'm a loser in drinking.
train-ed back to school around 7plus. had dinner buffet in school. we had free meals the whole day! haha. but the food in school is so much better. watched olympics opening ceremony in school. and we're on tv! embarrassing.
kinda depressed now. thanks to liz =/
gonna work tomorrow :( how i wish, i can fast forward to ending work tomorrow.
my face is burnt now.
my birthday wish, will it happen? but it seems to be so far-fetched
okay i'm a little deprived of sleep now. my brain is a little overworked.
drag myself off bed today and went to work. freaking tiring as only 2 servers including me. lunch time is freaking busy. i've to run around the whole shop like f. luckily only worked 12 to 6, if not i'm gonna faint there. dinner time also only 2 servers. god bless them. haha.
eileen came for interview today. and she's starting work this sat! haha another friend :)
after work, went parkway to meet rosie, shuyi, xiaohui and liqin. went for dinner. wanted to eat astons but queue is freaking long. went for some chicken rice instead. then headed to some ktv thingy in katong. 2 reasons why i dont like ktv. #1 - i dont sing #2 - always listen to emo songs
haha cabbed home with shuyi after that.
having BD presentation tomorrow. i hope nothing turns wrong =/ still got training after that :(
finally uploaded the pictures from my phone. thou some are outdated already. actually there's more photos from my old phone. but i'm a little lazy to transfer =/
okay i'm a little pissed with blogger now. cant upload the photos!
okay, previous post i still said i wanna be a good girl. but i'm skipping school today and tomorrow =/
working till 6pm tomorrow and meeting up with girls :) sooo long didnt meet them up already.
thursday gonna go school cause of presentation. still got training after that. but i wanna go out with my family =/ friday not going school too, cause of friendly match against bishan ite.
next week i'm so gonna be packed with work. not for tiffany or tods, but HONGKONG :)))
my IAF really 0/50 already -.- i'm so gonna fwd half a year with liz. ahhhhhhhhhhh :(
ohya, cut my hair, change my hammies bedding. felt a sense of accomplishment. haha. been busy recently and not much time to do such stuff at all.
i'm a lil too serious. just short, sweet memories.
last week of school. i'm gonna TRY to be a good girl and go to school. but i'm lazy. or rather no mood to =/
truth always hurts. i aint got you, anymore. it's always too late. for now, i hate myself. i knew this would happen.
will you still feel weird without texting me? :(
okay i'm hungry. been craving for QIJI nasi lemak and longjohn for the whole day. talking to jordan about food now. she and her xiaolongbao logic. haha. QIJI nasi lemak and longjohn, any kind soul?
i'm feeling so depressed now. today's not my day. 3 things that happened.
first - went to work today, ken told me tomorrow working in vivo. i regret not to tell him that i don wanna go. but it's too late.
second - i spill drink on customer today AGAIN. got first time = a lot more times to come. it's already the second time. and i swear i really feel like killing myself, so much. i dunno whats wrong with my hand. guilty.
third - ......
liz is nice. cause she know i'm depressed. especially after spilling that drink again. she gonna treat me supper tomorrow. like stingray tiger prawns sambal kangkong :) okay love her.
special thanks to eileen too. sorry that you have 2 useless project mates, liz and i. ha. cos for our gems module, she'd done all the projects for us. your nice. and i'm sorry, we're useless. ha.
saw ade, lina, jordan, jez, braceskong, ahdoy, bui eh n steph today again. as usual, pass by to disturb. as usual, took so many seats but only a few of them ordered. ha. i'm sure bui eh is a water bucket. she drank like the whole bottle of water?
okay i dread going to work tomorrow. vivo, another new environment. and i really hate this com. i NEED to do my project.
i'm tired. headache. i wanna sleep.
are you like happy now? telling myself, not to care, not to mind, not to think, but it always turn out to be another way round. tell me what i want, what you want. okay, it's more than just a pinch.
LOVE GURU next next monday. i'll try to keep myself free. don worry, you've my word for this.
gonna chiong my BD project. but i dunno why, MY CHEAPSKATE COM JUST CANT INSTALL TAT DAMN MICROSOFT! without microsoft, i cant open the file, i cant rush the project by today, i'm so gonna kill myself.
can august be over soon? thou it's only like the first day of august now. i wanna fast forward those exams and projects. september = HONGKONG!
i so wanna give myself a break now.
ohya, tuesday had IAF test. i swear, i didnt do a test as worse as that. i CANT do a single question. i bet i cant even get 3 marks. 90% gonna forward my IAF module.
warning letters are all on their way to me.
yesterday during work, lina, jordan, braceskong, ahdoy and steph came bakers to eat. sickening one lor. purposely wan find trouble with me only. complain complain complain. haha.
okay, friday saturday working. sunday off. please let me nua at home. its been long since i last did that.
